Tonight, I passed out for the...well, at least the fourth time. Is it bad that I can't remember how many times I've passed out? It happens kind of a lot. I thought I was over it, but apparently not.
At least I've passed out (fainted? swooned? had a fit of the vapors?) in a variety of interesting places. Tonight, we can add a boxing gym to a list that already includes 8th grade shop class, a London theater, and the Gap. To be more specific, two hours in to my first shift as a clothes bitch at the Gap.
There are lots of reasons why I pass out. The primary one is my dumbass thyroid which caused a lot of hell for a couple of years, though the twenty pound weight loss was nice (and scary). Tonight was a combo of that, and unfortunately, TMI ALERT! the first day of being on my period.
My fucking uterus was the problem at the Gap too. I had a couple of cramps, next thing I knew everything was fuzzy, and it looked like there was an abortion in my pants.
I'm sorry, that grossed even me out a little bit. Blame the fainting fit from earlier.
But you know, I've actually gotten pretty good at passing out. I mean, I warn people. At the London theater, I was with a girl I barely knew but when I felt my vision getting blurry I said, "I'm sorry Laurel, but I'm going to pass out now." I'm super polite. So tonight, I knew it was coming, got off the treadmill and had the trainer walk me to a seat where I could recover. I don't think I completely passed out (mainly because I don't remember waking up) but it was touch and go for a while. The most awkward part came after I had recovered a little bit. I had a water bottle in one hand, the other was holding an ice pack to my neck. And a one-armed man wanted to shake hands. It just wasn't happening.
But they were all super nice, and I assured them I would come back for a proper workout. But I won't. If there's anything I've learned from passing out, it's never return to the scene of the crime.
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